Winter Wonders…

I am a southern girl who craves snow.

I  crave the bold, beautiful invitation to escape  from the ordinary to the extraordinary.

I have never lost my childlike love of snowflakes falling from dark skies.

So, I am missing snow alot this winter and the sacred stillness it offers.

Imagine each of us waking this morning with our park benches beckoning us to a bleak but beautiful black and white stillness.

Imagine accepting such an invitation.

So, that’s just what I think I will do.  Accept February’s invitation to stillness – with or without real snow.

I’ve allowed so much noise in my life that I’ve sorely missed the stillness.

I  talk way too much.

I am a wordy person.

Yet,  I say I  want to “live from my heart.”

Seriously?  Have I any idea how to hear my heart?

So, I thought I would turn the tables on myself.  I have signed up to be coached.  By me – cause  I have nothing left to prove to myself.

And I know when I’m lying.

And I’m affordable.

Every  step I ask my clients to take, I will take.

So….yesterday I spent a good part of the day answering  the introductory questionaire I give to my clients.

I’ve previously completed it but it was a slightly doctored version for my first lifecoach caused I really wanted him to like me.

So, I had to glitter up some otherwise embarrassing chapters.

It took alot of  time for me to sit still on that park bench so I could hear what I had avoided for so long.

I started  with the easy, obvious stuff.  The annoying habits.  The dysfunctional thinking.  The pound bag of m&m’s. The sloppy office space.  The procrastination.  The grudges. You know…stuff like that.

I’ve spent a life time working hard on those behaviors and habits  ’cause I believed that’s what mattered.  But, after all that concentration and resolutions and counseling and hard work, that stuff hasn’t changed all that much.

What remains are questions….lots of them….

What am I thinking when I justify doing or saying something I don’t even agree with or know I will  regret or will cause me or someone else suffering?

What’s up with that?

Truth be told, I want a silver bullet – a quick fix – to feel better and to tidy up my mess.

And, until I find that silver bullet, I choose to manage the mess.  I choose…..

So, today I am being still on my park bench.

There are habits I want to change or stop altogether.

There are no excuses not to do so right now.

I have hired a coach to run the miles with me.

I know I will want to quit. Give myself an out.

I am prone to conclude that it is too late…..that I am too old.

My coach will remind me to read what I have written in stark black and white.  Like snow.

To just keep going.

If you’re interested, I promise to be honest about this journey.

Is it worth it?

Is it harder than I thought?

Would I recommend it to you?

Look up at the winter sky….feels like snow.

All Will Be Well…..

04 All Will Be Well

A brilliant young musician friend, Stuart Hill, posted this song on his FB page. The band is the Gabe Dixon Band and they deserve to be heard.  So does my friend.

I love this song.  I listen to it alot.

And today when I realized that the first month of 2012 is basically a done deal….I needed this song.

2011 didn’t play out quite as I had expected.

2012 hasn’t begun so stellar either.

And not for the lack of lofty goals, focused intentions, and some pretty impressive blood, sweat, and tears.

It’s just been a tough start.

So, I really appreciate someone honestly singing about breaking promises to yourself but still believin’ all will be well.

I gave away alot of 2011 and those annoying little habits are hard to break so when 2012 came knocking at my door I had very little left to serve.

So, though it’s been a while and there have been miles we have all traveled since our last crossing of paths…and sharing of blog posts…

I figured why not welcome February – THE  LOVE  MONTH – as a gift of winter wonders yet to be discovered.

Cause I believe that all will be well for you – which honestly – is easier than believing it for me.

Maybe you know what I mean.

Maybe you are a light and hope bearer for everybody else in the universe – except yourself.

I understand.

Listen…I will not be perfect. In February.  I won’t even be close.

I’m pretty determined to avoid perfect like the plague. I’ve tasted her fruit of the vine and it ain’t worth the hangover.

So…..here we go.

I promise to be honest…kind….prudent….shrewd….tasteful (hmmm…maybe)….and gracious….cause grace is the power of the music….

Take a listen…..

All….will…..be…..well…….

Thanks, Stuart….

Don’t Postpone Joy…

It’s early Easter morning.

It’s cool and quiet and still and expectant.

Time for miracles.

Time for daring responses.

Last week  I saw a car with a bumper sticker that preached one of the best sermons I ever heard…

“DON’T POSTPONE JOY!”

Postpone some other stuff if you must…but, don’t…don’t postpone joy.

For some of us…that will require an Easter miracle.

Lucky for us….today is Easter!

The Easter story makes new beginnings far more powerful than any New Year’s Day ever tried to be.

I don’t know what your April 25th might bring.
Neither do you.

But, I do believe, if nothing else, Easter shouts at us…

DON’T POSTPONE JOY!!

Joy may be hidden; may be battered a bit; may be covered with sand and soil.

It’s okay.

Find it anyway.

PURSUE JOY!

PRACTICE RESURRECTION!

Easter blessings to you…

True North…..

So, I wrote this post a few weeks ago and have – with some embarrassment – just realized I never posted it.  Not to worry…the words still ring true….except that the North Star is alive and well, shining ever so brightly…more later….

With the new year arriving midst blustery winds and blowing snows, the winter sky has offered staggering views of the night skies.  Cold, stark, mysterious,  stunning.  And just at a time when I presumed that new stories would simply write themselves upon my heart and calendar, even with winter clarity I seem to have lost sight of my own North Star.

So, I went looking for it….

I was reminded of one of my favorite benchmark words for new beginnings found in

Isaiah 43:18-19 ….

“Do not remember the former things;

or consider things of old.

I am about to do a new thing;

now it springs forth’

do you not preceive it?’

I love these words because I seem to carry around alot of “former things” which get in the way of my seeing “the new thing” springing up…kinda like losing my North Star.  Without my North Star I seem to wander aimlessly about my space; moving more circular than forward, more awkward than sound, more lost than found.  I think I believed that my North Star – my guiding light – would appear in my circumstances or in my check book or by email with words and prizes to re-energize my movement and chart my new course.

But, none of those things happened.

Instead, something rumbled and tumbled inside of me having little to do with the squares on my calendar.

It is my insides that long for a new beginning. The former things that muddy my vision are not the scribbles on my new datebook.  They are the walls and strongholds entrapping my heart.

I have some hard work to do. Beautiful though it may be the North Star is simply that, my guide, my point of reference.  I am the seeker. I choose the journey.

I’ve known this for a long time.  I just wanted all the other stuff to do the really hard work and allow me to slide through…to the other side of New.

I don’t want to slide anymore.

The North Star is too magnificent, too powerful, too much to ever miss again…

Gratitude and Grace…

Charlie Brown’s Christmas remains one of my all time favorite stories that puts words and faces and images and truths to winsomely illustrate the great mystery of Luke, chapter 2.  These engaging little children….a ragamuffin band of human beings if there ever was one….often mistreating one another….often judging one another…. often missing the forest for the trees…tenderly discovers that Christmas gratitude and grace offers the power to trump all differences…all opinions, all slights or hurts; presenting itself in the lowliest of trees dressed with a majesty fit for kings.

As the holy days of Advent quickly bring us to the manger, I find myself overcome with gratitude and grace for so many of you who have chosen time and again to offer your love and grace to me…..Thank you. …. Thank you for being peacemakers and peacekeepers and grace givers when least recognized or deserved but profoundly appreciated.  May you be the joyful recipient of unsurpassing peace and amazing grace uniquely gifted during this holy season  - especially if you find yourself feeling a bit Charlie Brownish….

May you be embraced by extravagant Grace,  humbled by limitless Gratitude , and lifted by triumphant Love….

And in that holy moment may you trustfully  relinquish your fears, painful judgments, and hurtful prejudices to the miracle at the manger….

May you become lighter and freer for having chosen so…

Gratitude and Grace to you….

Come, Lord Jesus….Come….