A fresh and different coaching experience.

…. i love early mornings….

there is something so redemptive and forgiving about just being given one more new day….

despite the previous day’s victories or defeats…with absolutely no assistance from me…

the sun chooses to rise each morning, the earth breathes one more day into my story….

i am more than grateful…

the early morning is like a shiny new sheet of clean, white art paper…not one scribble or dot anywhere to be seen…

just waiting for beauty…even beauty from ashes….

And I am given a do-over….

How do you begin your early mornings?

I well remember the hustle and bustle of work and children and school bells and wondering where the morning went…where the day went…and eventually where my life went…

But, honestly….I was wrong…the early morning was always there…even if the quatity of time was brief…the gratitude, the ownership of the day, the choice to breathe deeply, the anticipation of life and hope…always there…

How do you greet your early morning? How do you recognize and honor your internal rhythm?

It may well be that you are in a season of busyness – jobs, babies, travel, responsibilities…it may well be…but, I am saying this to you from years of excuses and rationalizations…even if you have only the time during your drive to work or the moment just before the baby wakes or even if you find yourself facing a battle this very morning…

how you greet the day and choose to fill your inner bucket sets the rhythm and power for the rest of your race.  None of us has the ability to predict what lies just beyond the gate of our new day. None of us. But each of us has the automony  to look toward that open gate with renewed truth, hope, grace, and guts.

I love the words from the seasoned prophet who had seen more than his share of battles;

“I gave up on my life altogether.

I’ve forgotten what the good life is like.

I said to myself, “This is it. I’m finished.

GOD is a lost cause.”

I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,

the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed.

I remember it all- oh, how well I remember -

the feeling of hitting bottom.

But, there’s one other thing I remember,

and remembering, I keep a grip on hope.

GOD’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,

his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.

They’re created new every morning.

How great is your faithfulness!”

Today is a good day to begin well…it requires no financial investment, no burdensome study, no long work out at the gym…

only a simple acknowledgement of the new day, the giver of hope, the renewer of joy, the sun that rises, and the promise of the open gate….

Come…..

“Forget the former things…

Do not dwell on the past…

See, I am doing a new thing!                                                        

Now it springs up;

Do you not perceive it?’

Words from the good prophet Isaiah straight to my head and heart today…maybe to yours as well.

I’ll be honest with you….even though I have lived through some pretty tough battles and crises in my life, the monster that never seems to die is the one labeled “What’s Behind the Closed Door – Oh No, My Past! – ” and the label is always written in dark, scary blood red paint….permanent it would seem.

On a perfectly, seemingly normal day I begin my run and suddenly – Bam! – I run smack into a door – a closed one.  It appears bolted from the inside with tags and messages announcing that there is no need to wrestle with the locks….that I closed this door years ago as a result of my own naivete’ or carelessness or worse, bad decisions. And so, today….this new day….I can run but only so far.

But, I long to push through that door. I want to be on the other side.

Yet, try as I might I can’t seem to muster up enough guts or strength to break those insidious locks and destroy those infernal tags that label me “failed, messed up, too late, too fat, too old, too too too much trouble.”

So, I reverse my steps and run back into the same ole room again.

My legs move but my heart doesn’t.

I am so done with that kind of runnng.

So, today I read and reread this amazing, terrifying invitation from good ole Isaiah.

It seems there has always been “a new thing” and “the new thing” has never been dependent upon my guts or my strength.

What an incredible relief.

“The new thing” seems to be about my Abba – my Father – and his love.

Love…that word again. Seems to crop up everywhere these days.

And it is that love that ever so gently places my shakey hand on the door knob, turns it ever so slightly, and bingo…ever so tenderly….that scary ole door creaks open.

And I am transformed into Dorothy landing upside down in the Wonderful World of Oz…beauty, hope, adventure, redemption.

And all those scary tags with scary messages from my past – “You can’t open that door. You lost the key. You missed your one and only chance. You are no longer invited to the party.”

Turns out they are not true. Lies. All of them.

I learned that “Forget” in these verses doesnt’ mean to literally “forget – as to never recall in our memories” but the word, “forget” here means “to remember without the memory having power over our present.”

I like that alot.

Memories remembered and redeemed.

I want my memories. I need them. I learn best from them.

But, I want them as fuel to push open the next doors not as dour deadbolts trapping me in rooms I was intended to leave.

So, if you keep running into the same ole doors…stop….pause…ignore the tags….simply turn the knob….and watch the door creak open…new things await….i promise.

….i’ve been thinking alot about breakthroughs lately…ones that seem to land on our front step with happy ribbons and bows and others that seem to emerge from the very pit of hell itself…each one revealing truth and offering grace….

…but i have also realized that real, lasting breakthroughs seldom – if ever – arrive without first being preceded by battle…

…something happens…

….someone does something…

…or we do something….and consequences result….

…maybe immediately…maybe slowly built up over time….but reality arrives home…

….and we are forced to take a stand…for ourselves, for those we love, for the truths we honor….

….taking a stand, facing the music, taking it on the chin, choosing sides, swinging a punch and offering an embrace….

….all of it…..

….all of the above involve fighting the good fight…

….running headlong into battle…

…and if all you ever try to do is live as a “peace keeper” and never a true “peace maker”….

….you will miss the battle altogether and eventually become a casualty when you never even knew there was war…

….fighting the good fight is loving fiercely without compromise or apology…

….fighting the good fight is expressing true righteous indignation….

…..getting good and mad when you have reason to be good and mad…

….fighting the good fight is counting the cost….and fighting anyway…

….because loving well….is worth every cost….every battle…

….defending those you love is worth every cost…every loss…every battle…

….standing naively on the sidelines hoping everybody will smile and get along when bullets are flying is just plain cowardly and silly…..

….and dangerous……very dangerous….

….i know it’s not pleasant….

….i know no one wants to run headlong into battle….

….i know battles break out when least expected and always from the least expected source….

….but….believe me….to live trying to avoid the good fight is to live allowing yourself to become the casualty when you were created to be the warrior….

….real peace is never free….

…real peace comes with the highest cost….

…real peace is always, always worth the battle….always….

….so let’s run well….even if – for a season – it is running into battle…

….you will not regret the decision to run that leg of your race…..

…..never…….

….my son was married this past Saturday at his wife’s breathtakingly beautiful blue ridge mountain farm amid their dearest family and friends….it was memorable, inspiring, and completely them….

…they flew out this tuesday morning for a once in a lifetime honeymoon adventure that includes visits to gorgeous resorts as well as serving with Habitat in the poorest regions of our world…their story will include lovely candlelight dinners shared together as well as fierce embraces with precious children seeking shelter….

….it is a breakthrough adventure…a breakthrough choice to marry….to love well for a really, really long time…

…..all of my kids inspire me…beyond grateful….

…..i want to be like them….

…..so i thought…are there breakthrough moments i might have missed…

…..might be still missing….

….how many subtle miracles might i have disregarded…..

….could it be that breakthroughs are happening all around us…each of us….in our own small spaces…in our dearest relationships….whether within brilliantly lit wedding tents or dimly lit shacks across the globe….

….maybe so….

….truth is i’ve discovered that they are so easy to miss……………

….or to dismiss…

….breakthroughs can be long awaited doors just barely creaking open…just a crack….or a long awaited job change finally becoming reality….or relationships won…or lost….or health recovered…or attacked….or homes filled to overflowing with voices…or silence after years of sounds….

….breakthroughs can be accompanied by wrenching tears or marvelous belly laughs or silence so still you can barely breathe…

…breakthroughs can be any shift….towards the east or the west….towards the sun rising or falling….towards hearts soaring or breaking….

….breakthroughs….

……they are a very good thing….a necessary thing……

….and we need to pay attention……i need to pay attention…..

…every single one is powerful and begs our respect and honor…

….oh, i know…….we are busy people….

………………………we are important people….

….and pausing…even for a moment…to acknowledge any sort of breakthrough…

….is so interruptive…..so time consuming……

…..so unsettling…unnerving….unfamiliar….

…..but maybe today is a good day to see the breakthrough…

…maybe today is the day to run with arms outstretched….flinging wide your mind and heart….

…..acknowledging the starting line….the first step….

….first steps are always breakthrough steps….always…

….i don’t want to miss my breakthrough….

….i don’t want you to miss your breakthrough…

…so shall we pursue it…hunt it down…

….for within our breakthrough is the very truth and courage we need for our next first step….

….so pause……frame the moment…….journal the story…….share it…….tell someone you love….

….be brave…..be the breakthrough……………..

…in only a few days….on this upcoming Saturday afternoon in the beautiful Virginia mountains my son, Abe will marry, Susan, the love of his life….

…it is a significant, life changing event…for Abe…for Susan….for those who love them…

and this wedding will complete the marriages of all three of my children…

after having lived through the difficult divorce of their own parents, these three adult children have courageously, sincerely, boldly chosen to love well….to be family…

it is, for me, a singular, momentous gift…

having witnessed the flaws and failures within their own parents it would have been understandable if they had chosen to be a bit calloused, a bit cynical about the values and commitment of forever love….

they didn’t…they chose to swim deeply in those unpredictable waters….to love well…and they do….every day….

and now all three of them…my son and two daughters have invested in healthy, honest to God adult relationships for some time now and they have taught me tons about loving well….

i am amazed….inspired….humbled….

and here’s something i have learned….often from watching them….

when i served as a staff pastor i often suggested to parents whose children were to be married that the best gift they could give them would be several appointments with a great counselor or coach or mentor…

i call these appointments “well baby check ups”

much like young parents who willingly schedule time and money to take their new babies to the doctor long before fevers appear…to be proactive…to check vitals and have immunizations administered to prevent life threatening disease….

new marriages benefit from strategically scheduled “well baby check ups”

i’m not sure why we seem to have a propensity to avoid much needed help until our relationships mirror stage four cancer…

especially when safe, confidential, objective help is available to aid us in navigating this thrilling, complicated roller coaster ride called “marriage and family”

everyone…absolutely everyone can benefit from a wise, objective, true listening ear and voice….

i know i have…

and i know my kids have…

i want them to have those persons on their team..cause loving well forever will require a team of sorts…it is tough to do it solo and it is best done with strong support and back up….

and on this upcoming Saturday…when we joyfully join together to witness and celebrate the decision Abe and Susan have made to love well….

my heart will soar because they, along with my daughters,  have chosen to run strong…run true…run together….

with an immutable, incredible team of family and friends surrounding them…

Cheers!

It is 90 plus degrees in my corner of the world. It is a hot day to run. It is a good day to try anyway.

So, as i was running…a bit more slowly this morning….i was reflecting on a question a friend had asked a few days ago. The question arose as she was trying to make sense of the somewhat radical words spoken by Jesus and quoted in his good friend, Matthew’s book….

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting upon you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

My friend asked, “What does “unforced rhythms of grace” mean?

Fabulous question.

So, as i’m running a bit more slowly and heavy this morning….feeling a little like i am lugging an ill fitting backpack stuffed with named and unnamed bricks …it occurs to me that i am wondering the same thing about the mystery of rhythm….especially rhythm flowing with grace….i realized that i am constantly moving within both arenas of discipline and abandon…I run as a sort of discipline but then so often abandon myself to the very thing I had hoped to outrun.

Frustrating…..

But, maybe “unforced rhythm of grace” is that “perfect” (and by perfect I mean the Greek definition of perfect meaning “whole, integrated” – not “Little Miss Perfect”) is that perfect run that seems to naturally, unobtrusively power one to simply empty the unnecessary bricks from one’s back pack so as to lighten the load and run less forced.; less burdened.

If “running one’s race” is to be a mysterious integration of both discipline and abandon then maybe what really matters is why one is disciplined and to whom or what one is abandoned to.

I fear I have often practiced discipline for no other reason than discipline itself…puffing up one’s self just because I ran…with no real finish line in sight. And that sort of discipline did not empty one single brick from my back pack. Nope, it loaded more and more bricks.

And abandon…oh, my….how many times did I choose abandon for the sake of sheer abandon with no thought as to whom and what i was abandoning to only to discover I had abandoned myself right into a big fat hole.

Running, for me, is the closest movement I share with dance. And I am grateful every day that my legs still move and my heart still beats.

But, running forced….running to prove something….or running scared….is absent of the beauty and seemingly effortless flow of dance…of grace.  And yet, brilliant dancers dance brilliantly as a result of loving, grace filled discipline that frees them to dance with reckless abandon to the music within.

It is poetry in motion.

It is grace unforced.

It is the perfect integration of discplineandabandon….

Grace doesn’t seem to give a rip about pace or speed or distance. Grace is the music that creates the rhythm that moves my heart that disciplines my legs that abandons my fears and empties the bricks.

Could be that though grace is the most natural gift on earth…it is also sometimes the most illusive….so jesus invites us to watch how he does it….could be that running with just such a partner….one small run at a time….mysteriously joins one out of rhythm runner to one perfectly in rhythm runner blending even the missteps so that, side by side,  an unforced, perfect rhythm is created…

and one runs, oh so much lighter….

even in ninety plus degree weather…..

today was a good day for an early morning run….

i had gone to sleep rereading one of my favorite memoirs, A Three Dog Life by Abigail Thomas, in which she very honestly shares the unexpected, jarring journey  she found herself in when her husband suddenly suffered a catastrophic accident while walking their dog.  He suffered irreparable brain injuries and required full time care until his early death.

….when i was growing up in a sleepy, backwoods little community in middle tennessee – other than december which held christmas – june was always my very favorite month for two reasons:

1. it always meant the end of the school year – we had none of that bureaucratic belly aching demanding that school calendars spill over into summers…june meant no school whatsoever…june meant swimming, staying up later, ice chips to cool you off when you tried to sleep in a much too hot house, and homemade ice cream by the gallons…

Today is June 1st.  I so love the beginning of a new month. I love turning the page of the calendar; justifying the purchase of a new, very clean journal. I even love making promises to do this or stop  that even if I have made the same promises for the past twelve months and failed.  I love the power of forgiveness and leaving the past  behind me.
I love new beginnings. I am grateful to have been given more than my fair share.

Questing…..may 28, 2010

today is the first day of the official memorial day weekend in our country….it is the weekend set aside so that we might pause from our ever busy, bustling lives and reflect and remember that some incredible men and women took a bullet so we could fire up that barbecue, fill up that pool, and invite whoever the heck we want to…when we want to….to the party….

so i went for my usual early morning run….

and these thoughts occurred to me….