A fresh and different coaching experience.

So, I wrote this post a few weeks ago and have – with some embarrassment – just realized I never posted it.  Not to worry…the words still ring true….except that the North Star is alive and well, shining ever so brightly…more later….

With the new year arriving midst blustery winds and blowing snows, the winter sky has offered staggering views of the night skies.  Cold, stark, mysterious,  stunning.  And just at a time when I presumed that new stories would simply write themselves upon my heart and calendar, even with winter clarity I seem to have lost sight of my own North Star.

So, I went looking for it….

I was reminded of one of my favorite benchmark words for new beginnings found in

Isaiah 43:18-19 ….

“Do not remember the former things;

or consider things of old.

I am about to do a new thing;

now it springs forth’

do you not preceive it?’

I love these words because I seem to carry around alot of “former things” which get in the way of my seeing “the new thing” springing up…kinda like losing my North Star.  Without my North Star I seem to wander aimlessly about my space; moving more circular than forward, more awkward than sound, more lost than found.  I think I believed that my North Star – my guiding light – would appear in my circumstances or in my check book or by email with words and prizes to re-energize my movement and chart my new course.

But, none of those things happened.

Instead, something rumbled and tumbled inside of me having little to do with the squares on my calendar.

It is my insides that long for a new beginning. The former things that muddy my vision are not the scribbles on my new datebook.  They are the walls and strongholds entrapping my heart.

I have some hard work to do. Beautiful though it may be the North Star is simply that, my guide, my point of reference.  I am the seeker. I choose the journey.

I’ve known this for a long time.  I just wanted all the other stuff to do the really hard work and allow me to slide through…to the other side of New.

I don’t want to slide anymore.

The North Star is too magnificent, too powerful, too much to ever miss again…

Charlie Brown’s Christmas remains one of my all time favorite stories that puts words and faces and images and truths to winsomely illustrate the great mystery of Luke, chapter 2.  These engaging little children….a ragamuffin band of human beings if there ever was one….often mistreating one another….often judging one another…. often missing the forest for the trees…tenderly discovers that Christmas gratitude and grace offers the power to trump all differences…all opinions, all slights or hurts; presenting itself in the lowliest of trees dressed with a majesty fit for kings.

As the holy days of Advent quickly bring us to the manger, I find myself overcome with gratitude and grace for so many of you who have chosen time and again to offer your love and grace to me…..Thank you. …. Thank you for being peacemakers and peacekeepers and grace givers when least recognized or deserved but profoundly appreciated.  May you be the joyful recipient of unsurpassing peace and amazing grace uniquely gifted during this holy season  - especially if you find yourself feeling a bit Charlie Brownish….

May you be embraced by extravagant Grace,  humbled by limitless Gratitude , and lifted by triumphant Love….

And in that holy moment may you trustfully  relinquish your fears, painful judgments, and hurtful prejudices to the miracle at the manger….

May you become lighter and freer for having chosen so…

Gratitude and Grace to you….

Come, Lord Jesus….Come….

Melodie Beattie wrote,

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

If today…the day after….. finds you unexpectedly welcoming the unexpected –  some bit of chaos or confusion…may you live aware of  the power of renewed hope fueled by amazing grace and gratitude; humbled by what is unseen, and carried by love’s forgiveness and redemption.

Gratitude leads….always has…always will.   Shall we practice scandalous gratitude despite the unexpecteds that might have found their way to our kitchens and to our hearts?  Shall we rebel against self absorbed fears and our often massive insecurities and simply practice gratitude for what truly  has been, for what is, and what shall be?

Peace to you….

…….For weeks now while healing from a back injury and waiting to once again run…….

i’ve found myself praying the simple prayer found in Psalm 30:7

“Lead me in a plain path.”

A simple, clear, clean…tiny little path…

No brilliant lights…

No marching bands…

No exhilarating crowds..

Just a simple, plain, honest, true, sound, strong, sure plain path.

And early today…for the first time in almost four months…I went for my early morning run…

Sweet…..plain….path….

And I thought of the simple words spoken by Jesus when he said so tenderly yet so forcefully,

“You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

But, I often seem unable to find truth – especially within a particular circumstance or relationship…. so within those areas….

I am not free.

And then…quite unexpectedly…without any effort or intention on my part these words came to me… also spoken by Jesus…

“I am the truth.”

“I am the truth.”

So, I thought…well, if I want to find the truth and if it is truth that will set me free and if I cannot seem to find the truth…

then maybe instead…I could just find Jesus…

and let him set me free.

Maybe I’ve complicated my race far too much…allowed far too many voices and distractions and opinions….well meaning though they be…but they have cluttered my plain path….

Truth is a precious commodity. An invaluable gift of respect we offer ourselves and those we love. It is a gift that can be costly in its revelation but any other gift – damage control, spin stories, pretty packaging – oh, those gifts can become messy litter, roadblocks on our run.

And we live unfree….so very encumbered….

You know what I mean?

Shall we seek to be made free?

And discover how to love well along the way…

In the absence of being able to run as much as I hope to again one day I have taken to cleaning out closets and prepping for Christmas!!  So, I pulled out a huge box of already purchased Christmas surprises to be sure I don’t buy the exact same stuff again and I found a brand new box of crayons and a first coloring book for my little granddaughter, Gracey who turns two in November.  I know it’s completely silly…but that brand new box of crayons brought tears to my eyes.  For years, I made sure that my kids always received new art supplies every Christmas – whether they wanted them or not.  And to this day because I believe my son is truly a gifted artist I want to give him new crayons and drawing pencils and art paper every single Christmas – and he is 32 years old.

I opened that lovely box of crayons – so bright and beautiful – and simply indulged in their vibrant colors.  Every color was one that a two year old would be proud and brave to hold in their chubby little hand.  And it occurred to me how easily, how willingly we ignore the best colors in the box.  Or I do.  I gravitate toward the blacks and the whites – not real colors at all – with an occasional brown thrown in for good measure but I completely miss the shocking pinks and splashy oranges and the soothing blues and greens.

And then, in an ever so sneaky way, I buy into a belief that my life is – oh, I don’t know – kinda grey, kinda cream, kinda dulled.

I want my True Color back.

So, I found that feisty Cindy Lauper song, True Colors, on  the internet and turned up the volume and colored all over notebooks and journals.  I might just paint my walls a fabulous red!

I love Cindy’s words…

“But I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that’s why I love you

So don’t be afraid to let them show

Your true colors,

True colors, are beautiful,

Like a rainbow.”

Amen to that……Color on……

It’s been over eight weeks now since I have been able to run due to an achy breaky back.  It has been over eight weeks since I have been able to write…a seemingly odd co-existence….running and writing.  But, today is a beautiful fall day – my favorite kind of a day – and though running is still weeks away – walking is a slow possibility.

I had no idea that my writing brain and my running legs had become so inseparable.  Seems those serotonins are a big deal, after all.

It has been humbling at best – devastating at worst to learn and admit that a single practice – something so simple and unimpressive really – has forged the rope of iron that contributes to some sort of internal balance – not to mention necessary weight control. And when that rope becomes a bit frayed, frazzled, or altogether snaps….what happens to balance?  Do I free fall?  Sometimes.  Do I swing dangerously with the lightest of breezes?  Yup….

Humbling….

Ever had your rope become frayed? Ever felt yourself free fall as a result of it snapping altogether?

What did you do?  How did you think about that free fall?

I realized – just for me – that running does so many things that are more important than money in my bank account or clean clothes in my laundry or worry about what anyone else thinks about money in my bank account or clean clothes in my laundry. Running steadies me. Running returns me to me. Running keeps me sure I am breathing.  Running forces me to truth but only as much as I can hold as I run…never too burdernsome…never enough to steal me from the race.  Running is my purest form of worship.  And I miss all of the above.

The truth is my back betrayed my soul…not intentionally but the same result occurred.

So…..my creative juices have leaked out and my legs have turned to jello.

It seems that sitting hour upon hour on a heating pad has fried my brain and created a co-dependent relationship with my back and legs. ..one that needs to be weaned away.

Today we walk. My legs and brain and heart and soul…inner balance gingerly begining to be regained.

Have you misplaced your running legs somewhere?  Want to join me? We will move as slowly as our legs lead us to. But we will move.

Come on….

Grace will line the streets….

I love a great “comeback story.” I love it when the underdog crosses the finish line first. I love “the few” overtaking “the many.”  I love when the “down and out” become the “up and coming.”

I love a great comeback story.

I need to believe in comeback stories. We all do.

Having run a few miles on the comeback trail I’ve learned that every comeback trail can be lined with setbacks. It’s not anyone’s fault in particular.  It’s just the way the trail winds. Just when you’ve stepped up to the starting line…just when you’ve convinced yourself to give it one more try….just when you thought you had paid your dues and trained your butt off…wham…the setback blues rain on your comeback parade.

And the once beckoning trail becomes thick with felled trees that seem to obliterate the morning light.

Now, here’s the thing….once the setback smacks you in the face…and you truly can’t see the forest – or the trail – for the trees – you have some choices.  By the way, one of those choices is not to NOT FEEL THE PAIN.  You can deny it. You can repackage it. But you cannot avoid it. Sorry….

However…

1. You can quit.

2. You can fake a season ending injury.

3. You can eat chocolate and drink cheap wine…the perfect food companions.

4. You can catch your breath….check your vitals….and ever so kindly….choose to run one more step and then one more and so on and so on….you get the picture.

5. You can make it to the finish line.  You can. Really.

The thing about comebacks and setbacks is that both carry enormous energy and energy is a great thing no matter how you come by it. And none of us can run one step without energy.

The challenge is to be brave…well, really to be gutsy…and simply acknowledge that the exhilaration of running the comeback trail lasted – oh, maybe a moment or two – and then the real running began and it was, at times,  brutal. especially if sometimes…the real race wasn’t even fair. I mean, really…where are the referees in life?

BUT…..Setbacks do not define your comeback. They do not. Setbacks do strengthen your legs for the uphill climbs. Setbacks do grow your heart for the high altitudes where the air becomes dangerously thin.  And setbacks do make for a greater story.

So, if today finds you gasping for air after an unexpected setback that ambushed you right in the middle of your comeback….catch your breath….assess the damage….reset your pace but not your passion.

And ever so slowly, cautiously begin to move through the thickening woods toward to light; asking what I call the “Holy ask”….so simple really…..

“Abba,  what do you have for me in this?”

Amazingly enough…the whisper of that “holy ask” has the power to part the trees just enough to see the light break through…

and that means everything.

Is there a “holy ask” within your comeback run?

Ask away and lean into the light….

Along with 1000’s of students and teachers, my oldest daughter returns to lead her 4th grade classroom tomorrow.  Making the significant transition from summer days to schools days requires massive focus, faith, and fortitude.

It is also an important time to pause…to take a breath…to acknowledge the season passing in anticipation of the one just ahead.  It always seems most important to choose to take these pauses when we feel we can least afford the time to do so but do so we must.

Within this pause, we  can first acknowledge gratitude – all that we have been given, all that we have experienced and celebrated during that season – weddings, travel adventures,  new homes, new friends, and most especially,  the gift to see another fall.  And once gratitude has replenished our buckets – our souls and our hearts – then we can be brave to also acknowledge any losses, any unexpected hurts, setbacks, or discouragments.

Both the gifts and the griefs shore up our souls for the season ahead for we never know what might lie just around the next bend.

It is within this holy pause, that we are free to identify and connect to our power source…the core of our lives. For me, the power source is my Abba’s – my Father God’s love for me. Mind you…my power source is not my love for my Abba…nope..because on any given day, my choice to love or my ability to love may be quite pitiful, rebellious, unbelieving, and flat out zero. No, my power source is my Abba’s immutable, mysterious, incomprehensible love for me. It is the river of grace that carries me with absolutely no effort or performance on my part. It is the most welcomed relief to my overly examined life.

And it is out of this power source…this love….that I am made brave to honestly see the gifts and the griefs and cherish them both.

So, pause…take a breath…take a seat….

Practice gratitude…embrace both the gift and the grief…

We need to cherish and honor both.

Everyone has a power source. Everyone.  Everyone has a core, a hub, a center out of which all else revolves.  Though we have long envisioned life as linear – it isn’t. It’s circular.  Picture it. Beautiful. Fluid. Flowing. All of life is in constant motion –  flowing, revolving, replenishing, restoring each treasure on the circle;  nurtured or neglected by our circle’s core – our power source.

But, because we are such compulsive list makers and list checkers, we refuse to live our lives as the circle. We love our lists. We love checking things off of our list. But, the list never empowers us. Never.  And then, one day…we discover that the stuff on our list – well, it was just stuff – and we look inside ourselves and discover a scary hole – an emptiness – where our power source should have been.

We were never intended to live linear so we aren’t very good at it. Lists are great for shopping excursions but they fall woefully short in empowering lives and strengthening hearts.   So, maybe we could stop investing our best energy and gifts on our lists and instead invest our best energy and gifts on strengthening our cores – our source of true power.

But, first, my friends…ya gotta figure out what your power source is.

What replenishes true hope for you?

What defines authentic love for your heart and mind?

What gets you up in the morning and what brings you sweet rest in the night?

If you don’t know. Get to work discovering your power source.

You can’t live without it. If you focus your entire life on your list, you will run the risk of doing a bunch of stuff and being pretty much – well, nothing but a list checker.

You have so much more to be.  And if you run into brick walls…well, lists are simply no help in removing them. Power is. If you find yourself in the dark…well, lists can’t help you there…lists provide no light. Power does.

So my favorite song for summer running has been “Unstoppable” by Rascal Flatts.

I’d like to run unstoppable. I’d like to live unstoppable. Running unstoppable feels circular to me…not at all linear.

The heart of coaching is the belief  that the very act of  running unstoppable leads to light….to our power source.

Rascal Flatts says it this way:

“You find your faith that’s been lost and shaken;

You take back what’s been taken;

Get on your knees and dig down deep;

You can do what you think is impossible.

Keep on believing; don’t give in,

It’ll come and make you whole again;

It always will; it always does.

Love is unstoppable.

What is the “unstoppable” for you?

That’s your power source!

Find it. Name it. Live out of it….

One day last week I went for a mid-day run…1:30 or so…much, much too hot….

truth be told…running mid-day in 90 plus degrees is a bit dangerous…

but maybe sometimes we need to run a bit dangerous….

and I thought of the words spoken by a dear friend who this week taught a group of women how to speak back to fear the way Jesus does…

the treasure for me was her statement….”You will fail. Everyone does. But failing does not make you a failure.”

her words were the beats forming the rhythm of my run….

the thing is….if we long to love well…to run well….we will have to choose to run dangerously every now and then….

love will compel us far out of our comfort zones…and we will round a bend or find ourselves in a dark tunnel; ambushed by unexpected attacks or misunderstandings or – yes, even our own failures -

and we will want to quit.

but if we choose to continue running even where we once ran into carefully constructed walls…amazingly, mysteriously we can run through the breaking apart of those walls….we can run through that ominous tunnel…even while navigating the debris raining down on us…(scary, i know)….

if we just keep moving…

Break Outs……Break Opens……even Breakdowns….

………..BECOME    BREAKTHROUGHS…………

Is there a dangerous run marked out for you?  Have you believed that “failing” disqualified you to run?

You are wrong.

In fact, the very “breaking open”  that you might be presently running through unleashes the power to equip you to continue running…even to run dangerously…..straight toward your “Breakthrough…”

If it feels terrifying to run alone…then don’t….seek out a sound coach, a mentor, a tribe, a kindred spirit….and look up…not down…you will see the light beckoning you to move forward….

You can do this…..