Days without running….10/11/10

It’s been over eight weeks now since I have been able to run due to an achy breaky back.  It has been over eight weeks since I have been able to write…a seemingly odd co-existence….running and writing.  But, today is a beautiful fall day – my favorite kind of a day – and though running is still weeks away – walking is a slow possibility.

I had no idea that my writing brain and my running legs had become so inseparable.  Seems those serotonins are a big deal, after all.

It has been humbling at best – devastating at worst to learn and admit that a single practice – something so simple and unimpressive really – has forged the rope of iron that contributes to some sort of internal balance – not to mention necessary weight control. And when that rope becomes a bit frayed, frazzled, or altogether snaps….what happens to balance?  Do I free fall?  Sometimes.  Do I swing dangerously with the lightest of breezes?  Yup….

Humbling….

Ever had your rope become frayed? Ever felt yourself free fall as a result of it snapping altogether?

What did you do?  How did you think about that free fall?

I realized – just for me – that running does so many things that are more important than money in my bank account or clean clothes in my laundry or worry about what anyone else thinks about money in my bank account or clean clothes in my laundry. Running steadies me. Running returns me to me. Running keeps me sure I am breathing.  Running forces me to truth but only as much as I can hold as I run…never too burdernsome…never enough to steal me from the race.  Running is my purest form of worship.  And I miss all of the above.

The truth is my back betrayed my soul…not intentionally but the same result occurred.

So…..my creative juices have leaked out and my legs have turned to jello.

It seems that sitting hour upon hour on a heating pad has fried my brain and created a co-dependent relationship with my back and legs. ..one that needs to be weaned away.

Today we walk. My legs and brain and heart and soul…inner balance gingerly begining to be regained.

Have you misplaced your running legs somewhere?  Want to join me? We will move as slowly as our legs lead us to. But we will move.

Come on….

Grace will line the streets….

Running the Comeback Trail….Early September

I love a great “comeback story.” I love it when the underdog crosses the finish line first. I love “the few” overtaking “the many.”  I love when the “down and out” become the “up and coming.”

I love a great comeback story.

I need to believe in comeback stories. We all do.

Having run a few miles on the comeback trail I’ve learned that every comeback trail can be lined with setbacks. It’s not anyone’s fault in particular.  It’s just the way the trail winds. Just when you’ve stepped up to the starting line…just when you’ve convinced yourself to give it one more try….just when you thought you had paid your dues and trained your butt off…wham…the setback blues rain on your comeback parade.

And the once beckoning trail becomes thick with felled trees that seem to obliterate the morning light.

Now, here’s the thing….once the setback smacks you in the face…and you truly can’t see the forest – or the trail – for the trees – you have some choices.  By the way, one of those choices is not to NOT FEEL THE PAIN.  You can deny it. You can repackage it. But you cannot avoid it. Sorry….

However…

1. You can quit.

2. You can fake a season ending injury.

3. You can eat chocolate and drink cheap wine…the perfect food companions.

4. You can catch your breath….check your vitals….and ever so kindly….choose to run one more step and then one more and so on and so on….you get the picture.

5. You can make it to the finish line.  You can. Really.

The thing about comebacks and setbacks is that both carry enormous energy and energy is a great thing no matter how you come by it. And none of us can run one step without energy.

The challenge is to be brave…well, really to be gutsy…and simply acknowledge that the exhilaration of running the comeback trail lasted – oh, maybe a moment or two – and then the real running began and it was, at times,  brutal. especially if sometimes…the real race wasn’t even fair. I mean, really…where are the referees in life?

BUT…..Setbacks do not define your comeback. They do not. Setbacks do strengthen your legs for the uphill climbs. Setbacks do grow your heart for the high altitudes where the air becomes dangerously thin.  And setbacks do make for a greater story.

So, if today finds you gasping for air after an unexpected setback that ambushed you right in the middle of your comeback….catch your breath….assess the damage….reset your pace but not your passion.

And ever so slowly, cautiously begin to move through the thickening woods toward to light; asking what I call the “Holy ask”….so simple really…..

“Abba,  what do you have for me in this?”

Amazingly enough…the whisper of that “holy ask” has the power to part the trees just enough to see the light break through…

and that means everything.

Is there a “holy ask” within your comeback run?

Ask away and lean into the light….

Take a breath….August 10, 2010

Along with 1000’s of students and teachers, my oldest daughter returns to lead her 4th grade classroom tomorrow.  Making the significant transition from summer days to schools days requires massive focus, faith, and fortitude.

It is also an important time to pause…to take a breath…to acknowledge the season passing in anticipation of the one just ahead.  It always seems most important to choose to take these pauses when we feel we can least afford the time to do so but do so we must.

Within this pause, we  can first acknowledge gratitude – all that we have been given, all that we have experienced and celebrated during that season – weddings, travel adventures,  new homes, new friends, and most especially,  the gift to see another fall.  And once gratitude has replenished our buckets – our souls and our hearts – then we can be brave to also acknowledge any losses, any unexpected hurts, setbacks, or discouragments.

Both the gifts and the griefs shore up our souls for the season ahead for we never know what might lie just around the next bend.

It is within this holy pause, that we are free to identify and connect to our power source…the core of our lives. For me, the power source is my Abba’s – my Father God’s love for me. Mind you…my power source is not my love for my Abba…nope..because on any given day, my choice to love or my ability to love may be quite pitiful, rebellious, unbelieving, and flat out zero. No, my power source is my Abba’s immutable, mysterious, incomprehensible love for me. It is the river of grace that carries me with absolutely no effort or performance on my part. It is the most welcomed relief to my overly examined life.

And it is out of this power source…this love….that I am made brave to honestly see the gifts and the griefs and cherish them both.

So, pause…take a breath…take a seat….

Practice gratitude…embrace both the gift and the grief…

We need to cherish and honor both.

Unstoppable Running….

Everyone has a power source. Everyone.  Everyone has a core, a hub, a center out of which all else revolves.  Though we have long envisioned life as linear – it isn’t. It’s circular.  Picture it. Beautiful. Fluid. Flowing. All of life is in constant motion –  flowing, revolving, replenishing, restoring each treasure on the circle;  nurtured or neglected by our circle’s core – our power source.

But, because we are such compulsive list makers and list checkers, we refuse to live our lives as the circle. We love our lists. We love checking things off of our list. But, the list never empowers us. Never.  And then, one day…we discover that the stuff on our list – well, it was just stuff – and we look inside ourselves and discover a scary hole – an emptiness – where our power source should have been.

We were never intended to live linear so we aren’t very good at it. Lists are great for shopping excursions but they fall woefully short in empowering lives and strengthening hearts.   So, maybe we could stop investing our best energy and gifts on our lists and instead invest our best energy and gifts on strengthening our cores – our source of true power.

But, first, my friends…ya gotta figure out what your power source is.

What replenishes true hope for you?

What defines authentic love for your heart and mind?

What gets you up in the morning and what brings you sweet rest in the night?

If you don’t know. Get to work discovering your power source.

You can’t live without it. If you focus your entire life on your list, you will run the risk of doing a bunch of stuff and being pretty much – well, nothing but a list checker.

You have so much more to be.  And if you run into brick walls…well, lists are simply no help in removing them. Power is. If you find yourself in the dark…well, lists can’t help you there…lists provide no light. Power does.

So my favorite song for summer running has been “Unstoppable” by Rascal Flatts.

I’d like to run unstoppable. I’d like to live unstoppable. Running unstoppable feels circular to me…not at all linear.

The heart of coaching is the belief  that the very act of  running unstoppable leads to light….to our power source.

Rascal Flatts says it this way:

“You find your faith that’s been lost and shaken;

You take back what’s been taken;

Get on your knees and dig down deep;

You can do what you think is impossible.

Keep on believing; don’t give in,

It’ll come and make you whole again;

It always will; it always does.

Love is unstoppable.

What is the “unstoppable” for you?

That’s your power source!

Find it. Name it. Live out of it….

running dangerous….mid-july, 2010

One day last week I went for a mid-day run…1:30 or so…much, much too hot….

truth be told…running mid-day in 90 plus degrees is a bit dangerous…

but maybe sometimes we need to run a bit dangerous….

and I thought of the words spoken by a dear friend who this week taught a group of women how to speak back to fear the way Jesus does…

the treasure for me was her statement….”You will fail. Everyone does. But failing does not make you a failure.”

her words were the beats forming the rhythm of my run….

the thing is….if we long to love well…to run well….we will have to choose to run dangerously every now and then….

love will compel us far out of our comfort zones…and we will round a bend or find ourselves in a dark tunnel; ambushed by unexpected attacks or misunderstandings or – yes, even our own failures -

and we will want to quit.

but if we choose to continue running even where we once ran into carefully constructed walls…amazingly, mysteriously we can run through the breaking apart of those walls….we can run through that ominous tunnel…even while navigating the debris raining down on us…(scary, i know)….

if we just keep moving…

Break Outs……Break Opens……even Breakdowns….

………..BECOME    BREAKTHROUGHS…………

Is there a dangerous run marked out for you?  Have you believed that “failing” disqualified you to run?

You are wrong.

In fact, the very “breaking open”  that you might be presently running through unleashes the power to equip you to continue running…even to run dangerously…..straight toward your “Breakthrough…”

If it feels terrifying to run alone…then don’t….seek out a sound coach, a mentor, a tribe, a kindred spirit….and look up…not down…you will see the light beckoning you to move forward….

You can do this…..